The Place for Politics 2016

It’s Sunday.

It’s my day off.

My dog ran off today.  I went to my car to get something and he ran.  He’s always stayed by my side.

I was not dressed to chase a dog around the neighborhood, so after about 15 minutes I went into my house and got dressed.  Put on a hoodie and good shoes.  At least I knew where he was before that.

Now I’m walking around the neighborhood.

I pull out my phone while I whistle.  He always responds to my whistle.  If somebody whistles on television his head pops up.

Somebody mailed in Donald Trump’s taxes from 1995.  He claimed a near one billion dollar loss in his company that year.  That allowed him to not pay taxes for 18 years.  If you’re bad at math, that time period just ended.  Unless he had other tax loopholes worked out.

If you’re bad at math, he probably made more money after that when he started being a television personality.

Previously on Donald Trump’s tax details, he worked out a deal with New York City that he would be tax exempt for 40 years for giving a hotel a makeover back in 1976.  If you are bad at math, that time is pretty much up.

I’m guessing Donald Trump wants to give his taxes a pardon.

This is, for the record, real news.  Those blind to what he did and what he owes and the words he uses are going to make excuses or call him a brilliant businessman.  His failures as a businessman should exceed how he was able to get out of taxes.

Paying people (attorneys) to help you dodge taxes is not genius.  That’s money to spare.

I keep walking down the road and whistling.  I go to the dog park four different times.  I walk down to the river.  I keep looking.

I see Julian Assange says he has information he will release on Tuesday that will ruin Clinton’s chances of becoming president by Wednesday.

Clinton called all of Sanders’ supporters basement dwellers several months ago.  We just didn’t know it until the other day.  Yes, people support Sanders because they are lazy goodfornothinglazypeople who are simply expecting free stuff.

Is she really so blind as to not be able to see that people were looking for serious change?  People see that their economic lives have flat lined while the economic status of those at the top continues to climb.

People have lost sight of the fact that these representatives of democracy are actually supposed to represent the people.  There is no representation.

Whoever dies with the most toys wins.

That was the bumper sticker my dad had back in the 80’s.  Times have changed.

People rarely have bumper stickers anymore.

I talk to a girl I’ve seen at the dog park a couple times.  She hasn’t seen my dog.  She did,  however, tell me that her very ugly dog was having a first birthday today.  Her dog is named Lucy and has eyebrows.  I can see her gums.  She is an atrociously ugly looking dog.

I walk away taking a different path.  Whistling.

And I’m continuing to read some of the garbage that has been going on.

Trump suggests last night that Hillary has been unfaithful to her husband.  We all know Bill was unfaithful.

We all know Trump has been unfaithful.  Every wife was the one he cheated on during the last.  Sex is power.  Money is power.  Power is sexy.  But how does a man who has made a career out of objectifying women think that kettle/pot politics is smart?

I pass maybe four Trump Pence signs while I’m walking.

I passed absolutely no Clinton signs.

I used to see Bernie signs during the primary.

I pass a Gary Johnson sign.  He’s so weird.

There is no excitement for Clinton.  None.  It’s just something we need to do to avoid a Trump presidency.  And this state will go to Clinton.  It just will.

In a state this blue, my vote means little.  There will be no campaigning here.

That’s why I will vote for Jill Stein.

I ponder all this again.  Reading opinions.  Whistling every so often.

My dog doesn’t come.

I then pass what I think would be a cheap and easy fix for this whole election cycle.


The Place for Politics 2016

Yes.  That’s the answer.

I walk away.  Certainly thinking that toilet could be the place for politics 2016.

We should have the option to flush it down.  Flush it all away.  Grab a free toilet off the side of the road and stuff the whole election down.

Don’t forget to wipe.  Bidet.  All of it.

Now I have the lyrics to Ænema in my head.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your Prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car

It’s a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of

Because this has been one hell of a shitty campaign and we still have five weeks to go.

Honestly, I believe that the complete campaign should start on October 1.  Every single cycle.  Without question.  What are we doing?

This is one year that I believe regardless of who wins, we as citizens lose.  And we lose bigly.  Fuck, I hope that word doesn’t get into the dictionary.  The definition should be “word to describe the failure of American politics in 2016.”

My dog is sitting on my lap as I write this.  Around the time I passed the free toilet my wife texted me that the dog was home.

My town apparently has a blotter.  Somebody found him at the park, picked him up, posted his picture, and social media did it’s thing.  A girl from across the street recognized him and described my house.  The original poster brought him to the house.

Trump uses social media at three in the morning.

I can see him as the type of leader who after talking to other leaders from around the world, sits in bed thinking about what he should have said and starts a text/tweet war with that person.

Yes, just like a 15 year old girl.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves
Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dip-shits

Some say the end is near
Some say we’ll see Armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will because
I sure could use a vacation from this

Silly shit, stupid shit . . .

One great big festering neon distraction
I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied

Learn to swim

And I will finish with the endings from one of the great songs of my lifetime.  I know the song is about the city and culture of Los Angeles, but if I pick my lyrics, they work.

And isn’t that what this whole election is about?

Selectively choosing words and spin?

Flush it away.

And I know where to get this magical toilet.  It’s just down the road.

Short note- if this election season gets flushed, I might start praying to the toilet god.  I will be saved.

Because I’m praying for mayhem
And I’m praying for tidal waves
I want to see the ground give way
I want to watch it all go down
Mom, please flush it all away
I want to see it go right in and down
I want to watch it go right in
Watch you flush it all away

Time to bring it down again
Don’t just call me pessimist
Try and read between the lines

I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t
Welcome any change, my friend

I want to see it all come down
Suck it down
Flush it down




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